Our Lake

This is our lake. I'm trying to catch one with a pretty sunset! Our house faces this side of the lake.

Kallie

This is Kallie --- one of the reasons I don't decorate the bottom of the tree :) 17 pounds of pure terror!

Our Bootiful Tree~!

You'll have to excuse the lack of ornaments or lights on the bottom of the Christmas Tree -- We have felines!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

I've been playing in my new photoshop program and having tons of fun!

A Survey...

If your doctor told you TODAY that you were pregnant, what would you say?
Oh shit...Oh Shit...Oh shit...

When was the last time you flew in a plane?????
A couple of years ago on our trip to Salem for Halloween

What did the last text message you sent say?
Where are you?

What features do you find most attractive in the preferred sex?
Intelligence, ability to converse and a cute ass...

Been to Mexico?
Yup -- lived in California

When is the last time you had a massage?
The last time I had a back ache

What was the last TV show you watched?
Watchin' the Dallas Cowboys right now...

What are your plans for the weekend?
Next weekend - having a pre-Christmas party

If your significant other asked you to marry them TODAY what would you say?
I'd say SURE - but we would be renewing our vows since we are already married :)

What is in the back seat of your car right now? My gym bag and junk mail

What were you doing at 8 am this morning?
Sleeping

If you could marry any celebrity today who would it be?
Kid Rock, Kenny Chesney, David Beckham

Have you ever been to a strip club?
Yes

What is the best ice cream flavor?
Anything with chocolate and peanut butter

What is the last sporting event you watched? The Steelers and the Cowboys -- Go Tony :)

Who is the last person you sent a comment/message on myspace?
Shanna Belle

Ever go camping?
Yes...hate it!

What did your last text say?
I'm on my way...

What color is your watch? Gold with opals

Last phone call? Cheryl

Are you allergic to anything?
Do you have a while for me to compile the list?

Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time?
Flops

Do you own an iPod?
It's on my Xmas list

Do any of your friends have children?
Yes

What do you do at work?
Case manager for food stamp and Medicaid clients

Who was your last kiss?
My Husband and it was sweet :)

How did you get one of your scars?
Got thrown from a four wheeler (smile)

Are you ticklish?
Yes...oh my gosh!

Ever cried for no reason?
Yes

Ever broken a bone?
A few!

Do you have any piercings?
Just ears

Have you ever changed clothes while driving?
Sadly....yes

Have you ever cleaned up someone elses vomit?
Sadly...yes

What was the last thing you ordered at McDonalds?
Haven't been there in a long time - couldn't tell ya!

Can you do the Crank Dat dance?
ummm....no

What is your favorite color to wear?
Pink

What is the longest plane ride you have ever been on?
Europe

What is the longest road trip you have ever taken?
California to Florida

What are your turn-offs?
Overly drunk people, people who act/talk ghetto and bad hygiene

What was your 1st alcoholic beverage?
a beer...

What was your last alcoholic beverage?
Jagermeister

What are you craving right now?
Chili dogs

Thanksgiving Has Come and Gone...

Every year I try to write down that for which I'm thankful. I've been so busy this year and haven't done so - not to mention I ended up with the flu Thanksgiving day and am just now surfacing back to life - so here goes:

That for which I am thankful:

• God


• antibiotics - to get rid of this awful flu


• a stimulating, awesome job -- okay so it's not all that awesome - but it's a job ;0)


• my family


• a beautiful home


• heat to warm my bones


• my awesome pets


• friends


• books to keep my fantasy world alive


• great benefits from my job


• money in the bank


• vanilla rum - for those yummy moments - ;)


• music to stimulate my soul


• jewelry to make me feel beautiful


• a great hairdresser whom I trust


• a great nail tech whom I trust


• a great vet whom I trust


• a great doctor whom I trust and love


• a full belly and healthy food


• coffee


• a beautiful sunrise/sunset on my own lake


• air conditioning


• Harley - because it makes my husband happy


• an awesome Nikon in order to capture memories


• jagermeister - for those crazy moments


• Spellcheck


• Sony computers


• all my favorite authors


• chocolate


• comfy pj's


• Tempurpedic


• and finally, Cole, because he wants his own section in this list

Love...

Life...

Ok -- Life has been so busy lately. It seems like I'm always saying that. Does it ever slow down? Work is hellacious. I guess I should be grateful but it's the economy keeping me EXTREMELY busy. It's crazy and it sucks. We're getting over 500 applications a day! People are really hurting. And it's sad we have to weed out who's really hurting and who's lying. C'est la vie!

We're having a Fall get-together this weekend. Lots of friends, lots of drink (my favorite part) and lots of laughs. I will take some pics and post some later. Hopefully no one will be too, too naughty. But, you know how us rednecks are!

On a positive note, I've lost 21 pounds and 19 inches. Gotta love it, girl!! I'm cooking with grease now! And, I'm actually surviving without all the food. If I get hungry, I eat. What I want. Just little bits of it. Then I exercise. It's working. Yay. I refuse to have gastric surgery or the lapband. I think it's the chicken-shit, easyway out and it's not healthy. I want to be able to eat things I enjoy and not worry about my nutrients.

Other than that all is well in the H20 household :) Chow for now loves.

Giving Thanks...

Thanksgiving is upon us - I have so much to be thankful for.
I just loved this picture. Sweet innocence.

Could It Be The End Of The World As We Know It?

Two more days. Two more days until the election of a lifetime. Unless some serious changes take place, I fear we will have a very different, controversial "leader" (if you will) of our free nation. So many have gravitated towards this man - and I do believe it's not because of his platform or because of his beliefs, I believe it's because he's evil in the disguise of good. He is NOT change in the right direction. I think he's underhanded. I believe he's not who he says he is. I truly believe he's a communist. I'm scared for our country. I'm scared because he's a wolf in sheeps clothing. How can people be so blind to him? Will he be the "one" to cause our fall?

Happy Birthday...

Today is my husband's 53rd birthday. He's so tired. He's been at work the past 28 days with only evenings at home. Seven 12 hour days ongoing and ongoing. So, today I made him a lemon cake in the shape of a heart with a huge pot of spaghetti and meatballs! He came home exhausted and was so surprised :) I decked him out in Harley gear for his birthday - to include a Hallmark Christmas ornament Harley style!! He's sedated from lots of food and cake and blissfully happy. I love you, Daddy.

Happy Birthday...

Today is my mom's 68th birthday. She is physically with us, but she has end-stage Alzeimer's and mentally is not aware. I saw her yesterday and surprisingly, when I asked her for a kiss, she planted a "big one" on my cheek. Now, I know it's not my birthday, but that was the best gift I could have ever asked for. I miss her so and wear reminders of her daily - my father passed down one of her favorite, most beautiful watches and bracelets to me yesterday. I'm wearing them with pride, honor and memory today. I've made a vow that the bracelet I shall never remove. If the watch were not so fragile I might wear it too all the time, but the bracelet shines with diamonds just like my mom. A gem of a woman. A hell of a lady. I love you, mommy.

When God Speaks...

If God Was A Man - This Is What I'd See

Sometimes when I'm bored - I like to find artwork and pictures on the net of things that randomly pop in my head. Yeah. Strange game but art is cool.
Then it hit me -- bam --- why don't you show other people what you find and see if they agree. Not that anybody but Heather reads my blog. So, this is today's.

G'Night...

)Giggling Madly(

Democrats...

(stifling a giggle)

I just can't stop.

**Warning** I'm Not Sleepy...Can U Tell?!?!?

I should stop, huh?

Victim.

(Loud Gasp)

I believe I've been the victim of a drive by comment spammer.

Who Is Scarier?

Okay - This is funny - I don't care who you are.

Ok - Just 1 More Thing -*-

I wish I had this sticker. I would litter the front of my house with it.

The Older The Bull, The Stronger The Horns....Nuff Said!

Which Archangel Are You?

You are Gabriel, Archangel of the West. Next to Michael, you are the only other angel mentioned in the New Testament Bible. Even though you are not cited as an archangel, you are commonly recognized as being equally powerful. In the Christian faith, you are best known as the angel who brings Mary the news of her virgin conception (Luke 1:26-38). Communicative, artistic, and diplomatic you are passionate about promoting good will and creating interpersonal relationships. Those who seek guidance in speech and better teaching skills look to you as their patron. You share an archangel feast day with Michael and Raphael on September 29.

Where Has Time Gone?

Do you ever wonder where the time has gone? In fact, it has not gone anywhere.
Time keeps coming in an endless procession, and as soon as one moment is finished, another one begins. The problem is not that time has gone away, for it has not. The problem is that you haven't made full use of it. Fortunately, that is a situation you can change right now.

When you find yourself wondering where the time has gone, understand that thought for what it truly is. It is your way of reminding yourself of how very much you can do if you simply make the commitment to do it.

Don't waste another minute regretting all the time you've wasted in the past. Resolve in this moment to put the time you now have to meaningful and rewarding use.

Fill your time with action, with love, with meaning, with purpose, with richness and with life. Instead of wondering where the time has gone, be delighted with where it takes you.

-- Ralph Marston

Live. Love. Laugh.

Life is so busy. Everytime I turn around something is happening - albeit something good - something enlightening - something groovy - but SOMETHING is always happening. Work is so incredibly busy. I am a case manager for food stamp, Medicaid and temporary cash assistance clients. With the fall of our economy, my job and my duties have tripled! Now mind you - I am a lowly paid state employee (the benefits do however ROCK). Yet, I love what I do. It's challenging and each day is always different. I'm always guaranteed a major brain workout and usually end up feeling rewarded. There are days that the system fails and rewards those who probably should not be rewarded. However, there are days when I have to really use my investigative skills and teach a client that the system does sometimes work! That's usually where the fun comes in.

Big sigh...

Life is good. It's good to love your job. It's also good to know that in five more months I will start telecommuting to work! Now that is a reward. An awesome reward.

I've changed my life. Actually, I think since I've turned 40 - the chemical makeup of my brain has changed. I'm happy. I'm content with who I am and what I have to do to remain an all around great person. I don't know what caused this change to occur - but 40 seems to have done it. I woke up one day and thought to myself - you have the power to do whatever you want to do. There is nothing stopping you. It's all about me and it's all up to me. Only I make my choices. No one else. I think God finally got through to me and embedded it in my head that no one else is going to make me happy. Only ME will make me happy. Since then I've dropped 11 pounds, had a friend join me in the best change of our life -- new eating habits, I've joined Curves and haven't missed but one day (I was sick I swear) and I actually love CURVES. I go in before work, it's right next door, I exercise and chill for a minute, clean up, dress and put on my makeup and walk to work from there. I get to measure how many inches I've lost in two weeks. But, finally I've realized - it doesn't matter how many inches or how many pounds - it's all about just being healthy and doing the right thing to remain that way. I feel so much better (low carb rocks). My energy level has increased tenfold.

In a nutshell, being 4o kicks butt. I wish I could have skipped all those years and just jumped to the here and now. I am a woman. Hear me roar!

Warning!

I had to laugh out loud when I noticed someone hollering, "helloooooo....do you ever update your blog?" Hmmm...I remember a time when it was like pulling teeth to get someone even motivated to turn on a computer, download AIM, build a MySpace page, or better yet, BLOG. I don't think she knew what BLOG meant .... say.... more than six months ago ;) Okay...maybe a year ago. And now, I'm being hollered at to blog. Blog. Blog, blog, blog. Do you really want to know my boring thoughts? Well, let's see. Today I'm motivated. I'm motivated to eat healthy and exercise. All at fukin' once hehee...I can never take baby steps...I have to take giant leaps and attempt everything at once. Nice way to set myself up for failure, right? Hell, maybe next I'll attempt to keep my laundry current, keep my house clean and put in overtime at work and run for mayor~~;)~ At least I didn't say President, huh? Not to mention I'm PMS'ing, bitchy and bloated. Hmph.

No Swimming Today...

No swimming today...it was beautiful all day while I had to sit inside and juggle one client's crisis after the next and as soon as I head out the door - impending gloom. GLOOM. Black clouds rolling across the sky. No swimming today ... no swimming today.

Updates...Updates...Updates!!

Hello :) Sorry I haven't been here in a bit. Life has definitely been super busy. Ok - not too busy because I spent the majority of my weekend in my pool LOL But, it was way more fun than being on the computer - I must admit I'm brown as a coffee bean ;0) Phil says he's starting to think I'm part Mexican. Yeah. Whatever.

Basically, back to work today - it's been very challenging lately and it's only getting harder as I go but hopefully the level of hardness will even out. But, I love a good challenge ;)

Phil is doing well. He's working just as hard as I am.

Cole is doing well in college. All A's on the tests so far. He seems to like humanities the best.

Today was the 1 year anniversary of my father-in-law's death. We truly miss him. I can't believe it's been one year. I'm going to try and get out to the cemetary this weekend and place some fall flowers on he and Corrine's gravesite. I miss my evening talks that we had out on the patio or under a shade tree. He was such a good Christian man with HUGE values and morals. I could only wish I could take after him.

Well, that's it for tonight. Reading a good book. True life crime - called - Never Enough by Joe McGinniss. Gotta get a lil' bit in before I have to read to Phil. Took an idea from you, Hez. Reading Phil The Shack :) Only on chapter 4 so maybe by next year we'll be done! LOL But he likes it so far!~

Nighty Night...

Happy Labor Day

Well, I've had a week off work and I finally feel able to go back. Hopefully this ankle and knee of mine will mend quickly. We had a WONDERFUL dinner tonight. Phil did a pork roast and home made potato salad. I did home-made brownies. Brought them hot out of the oven and put them underneath ice cream. We are both STUFFED. So, I'm off to my coccoon to hibernate. Happy Labor Day. Until Tomorrow.

Snow White

Snow White & The Seven Dwarfs

The seven dwarfs always left to go work in the mine early each morning. As always, Snow White stayed home doing her domestic chores.As lunchtime approached, she would prepare their lunch and carry it to the mine. One day as she arrived at the mine with the lunch, she saw that there had been a terrible cave-in.Tearfully, and fearing the worst, Snow White began calling out, hoping against hope that the dwarfs had somehow survived.'Hello!...Hello!' she shouted. 'Can anyone hear me? Hello!'For a long while, there was no answer. Losing hope, Snow White again shouted, 'Hello! Is anyone down there?'Just as she was about to give up all hope, she heard a faint voice from deep within the mine, singing.... 'Vote for Barack Obama! - Vote for Barack Obama!'Snow White fell to her knees, crossed herself and prayed, 'Oh, thank you, God! At least Dopey is still alive...

Things I Hate!

Things I Hate

::~~Evil~~::

:: ~Allergies~ :: ~Alzheimers: ~Polio~ :: ~Deadbeat Dads~ :: ~Mean Stepmothers~ :: ~Liars~ :: ~Relish~ :: ~Fair Weather Friends~ :: ~Guns~ :: ~AIDS~ :: ~Ignorance~ :: ~Animal Abuse~ :: ~Laziness~ :: ~Child Abuse~ :: ~Obesity~ :: ~Women Dependent On Men~ :: ~Enablers~ :: ~Cancer~ :: ~Cigarettes~ :: ~Video Games~ :: ~~ :: ~Spineless People~ :: ~Heat~ :: ~Nausea~ :: ~Overbearing People~ :: ~Dictators~ :: ~People Who Don't Say What They Mean~ :: ~Politics~ :: ~Vanity~ :: ~Stuck Up People~ :: ~Players~:: ~Men Who Use Women~ :: ~Women Who Use Men~ :: ~Religious Intolerance~ :: ~People Acting Ghetto (GROW UP!)~ :: ~People Who Make "THE CUT"~ :: ~Ex-Wives~ :: ~Ex-Husbands~ :: ~Fake Christians~ :: ~Hurricanes~ :: ~Being Sick~ :: ~Diabetes~ :: ~Name Calling~ ~Unfit Parents~ :: ~Ebonics~ ~Stupidity~ :: ~Mean People~ :: ~Asthma~ :: ~Roaches~ :: ~Alligators~ :: ~Immaturity~ :: ~Beets~ ~Old Age~ :: ~Being Unhealthy~ :: ~Internet Players~ :: ~Road Rage~ :: ~Tornadoes~ :: ~Women Who Dump Their Friends For A Man~ :: ~Low Self Confidence~ :: ~Sore Feet~ :: ~Bad Breath~ :: ~Anything Ex...~ :: ~Rap Music~ :: ~Using Slang in Public~ :: ~Grammatical Errors~ :: ~Fleas~ :: ~Debt~ :: ~Back Pain~ :: ~A Toothache~ :: ~Too Much PDA~ :: ~People Who Think They Are "All That"~ :: ~Cemetaries~ :: ~Bosses With Attitude~ :: ~Hospitals~ :: ~Nursing Homes~ :: ~Death~ :: ~Funerals~ :: ~Grief~ :: ~To See My Friends/Family Cry~ :: ~Broken Marriages~ :: ~Root Canals~ :: ~ Dementia~ :: ~High Interest Rates~ :: ~Depression~ ::

~ :: ~DRAMA~ :: ~

Things I Love - Do This For Yourself - It's Wonderful :)

Things I Love

::~~GOD~~::
:: ~Being Married~ :: ~My Son: ~Smiles~ :: ~Hugs~ :: ~Kisses~ :: ~Family~ :: ~True Friends~ :: ~Music~ :: ~Labs~ :: ~Computers~ :: ~Cell Phones~ :: ~Pink~ :: ~Having Fun~ :: ~Anna Maria Island~ :: ~Shoes~ :: ~Diamonds~ :: ~Four Wheelers~ :: ~The Dallas Cowboys~ :: ~Martinis~ :: ~MySpace~ :: ~Sleeping~ :: ~Jokes~ :: ~PSP~ :: ~Root Beer~ :: ~American Idol~ :: ~Weddings~ :: ~Roses~ :: ~My House~ :: ~Bella~ :: ~The Sopranos~ :: ~NASCAR~ :: ~Massachussetts~ :: ~Shopping~ :: ~Halloween~ :: ~Candles~ :: ~Being a Country Girl~ :: ~Gold~ :: ~Being Up All Night~ :: ~Capris~ :: ~Electronics~ :: ~Charm Bracelets~ :: ~Water~ :: ~Reading~ ~Incense~ :: ~Harleys~ ~Michael Parkes Art~ :: ~Movies~ :: ~My Porch~ :: ~Pizza Palace Pizza~ :: ~My Job~ :: ~Gatlinburg, TN~ :: ~Tres Leche Cake~ ~Spook Hill~ :: ~Walkie Talkies~ :: ~Chocolate~ :: ~Cooking~ :: ~Mountains~ :: ~Palm Trees~ :: ~My Nikon~ :: ~My VAIO Laptop~ :: ~Fuzzy Blankets~ :: ~Burt's Bee's~ :: ~Spanish Music~ :: ~Kenny Chesney~ :: ~Make-up~ :: ~Contact Lens~ :: ~Holidays~ :: ~Holding Hands~ :: ~Chardonnay~ :: ~Vanilla~ :: ~Wardrobes~ :: ~Sunshine~ :: ~Nature~ :: ~Snow~ :: ~Google~ :: ~Vanilla Rum~ :: ~AOL~ :: ~Lasagna~ :: ~Pajamas~ :: ~Almond Joys~ :: ~David Cook~ :: ~Brightly Painted Toenails~ :: ~Purses~ :: ~My Truck~ :: ~Icees~ :: ~Puppy Kisses~ :: ~Blogging~

God and Mother Nature

It's been a very relaxing, peaceful weekend. Phil and I have spent the whole weekend doing a bit of nothing. Last night we went to dinner at our favorite Chinese joint and then headed over to our favorite book store and hung out. He hangs out in the music section and I load up with books and hang out in the cafe sipping coffee. My favorite place to be. I guess I overdid it last night by going out - my ankle sure gave me hell today. But, I will live :) Tomorrow is our last day off before "life" starts again! I guess we'll have to call them Monday Evening Blues instead of Sunday...Well, I'm off to bed to get lost in my book. I shall return tomorrow I'm sure. Also, don't forget to keep our friends on the Gulf coast in your prayers. Being a hurricane veteran, I know exactly what they're going through and this is nothing you could ever imagine. Frightening, intense, lonesome and downright horrifying. So many people take it for granted. Mother Nature and God are not to be argued with...so when they speak - we should listen. Say your prayers!!!! Night night.

I Suppose I Should Update Ya'll...

Wow...haven't been here in a long while. My cousin, Heather, started up a new blog about her family, so I felt compelled to update mine. Where should I start? It's been a crazy year to say the least. In April, after four long, ass kicking years, I quit my job with the Department of Health...let's just say to preserve my sanity. It was scary and hard to let go but the drama, lack of leadership and red tape was eating my alive! I missed my friends but I soon learned it was a decision driven by God. I was off work for about 30 days and put in application after application with the State of Florida. I knew I wanted to remain with the state due to benefits and retirement but knew I wanted out of DOH. Not too long after my resignation I received an invitation to interview with the Department of Children and Families. I wan't too impressed due to their lengthy negative history in the news with Child Protective Services; so needless to say I was leary. I checked the position out and learned it was case management for potentially eligible clients applying for Medicaid, Food Stamps and Temporary Cash Assistance. NOT in Child Protective Services. I accepted the invitation to the interview and 2 weeks later was offered the job. I started May 3rd and haven't looked back since. I love the job. It's challenging, rewarding and fulfilling. My first day on the job I learned something mind blowing. Seventy percent of our department telecommutes (works from home) four days a week. This is something I've always wanted to do but could never find the right position! So, after 12 solid weeks of mind numbing training (if you didn't pass training, you were let go), I am finally an Economic Self Sufficiency Specialist and will start working from home the first part of 2009! I'm so excited.

Home life...Phil and I will be married four years this November and still going strong. He's my rock and I love him dearly. He's going on ten years with Kreiger Electric. It's hard work and wears him down but he plays a huge role in that company. I don't think he would be happy retired. He's a work-a-holic. Cole started Polk Community College last Monday. He's doing well but still has a lot of growing to do. He's been living with us for a year and a half and seems happier and healthier. He has not talked to his father since April 2007 but he doesn't seem too, too effected by it. It's both of their choices not to speak. I encourage him to take the steps to mend his relationship with his dad but he has so much on his plate that I really think he doesn't have the energy. We own four houses now which take up a huge amount of our time. When Phil's dad passed in Sept 2007, he left us three rental properties. Along with the upkeep of our own home, we upkeep those but thankfully they are all on the property we live on. The extra income is a HUGE blessing and allows us to live very comfortably (plus pay that huge college bill LOL). Our first lab, Katie, who brought us two beautiful litters, has been placed in a very happy home. It was hard letting go of her but she had a few neurotic tendencies that posed a problem in our household. First, she was afraid to walk on wood flooring (which is 100 percent of our home). So, a very good friend of mine, John King, and his life partner, adopted Katie in January of this year. They love her dearly and are like two mother hen's (even though they are guys). LOL She loves them and is spoiled rotten. She still comes to visit. We still have six labs (are trying to place two in good homes) and five cats. They keep us very busy and completely broke because of feed bills :P But, oh how we love our animals. Bella, our chocolate lab (indoors) is doing wonderfully. She is the best dog. She loves her family unconditionally and takes good care of me :O) Me? I'm still smoking. It's my only vice. I hate it but I love it. LOL I guess things could be worse. I'm working on my path with God. Slowly but surely figuring things out. I don't go to church...can't find one I'm comfortable at...but I think God understands as long as I do the right thing and continue my studies. I've always been a loner when it comes to God...it's just not me worshiping with a bunch of people I don't know. Seems so superficial. I guess that's okay. Something tells me it is. Let's see...oh yeah. I broke my foot Tuesday LOL Stupid ass me was going to a doctor's appointment and fell on an uneven sidewalk, face first, ass up in the air. But, I have to tell you, if you ever want IMMEDIATE medical attention fall at a medical faciility. No waiting in line!!! Everyone keeps asking me if I'm going to sue but I really don't have the desire to. I have excellent insurance through the state and as long as they pay I won't sue. I've been off work this week because of my foot and I swear every commercial on television is about suing!!! I can see why people call...it's like being hypnotized! Oh yeah, I turned 40 this year. Not as bad as I thought it would be. But, now, when people ask how old I am, I cringe LOL Not as easy to say 40 as it was 30, 35 or even 39!!! My mom and dad are hanging in there. Not the best they could be but coping. Mom is endstage Alzheimers. She has no recollection, no personality, no life anymore. She's basically a vegetable. I pray daily for her to pass. It's just not her sitting in a wheelchair with a blank stare on her face and mumbling unintelligible things. My father --- mmmm --- I disagree most of the time with him on how he handles his life. He's so freakin' stubborn. He's wasting away in depression but won't get a handle on it. He sits at home with the freaks he hangs around with (I call them inheritance suckers)....plays online poker, drinks and eats junk food. I don't even go over there anymore because I can't stand the discord and depression. My thinking is if he wants to live that way so be it. More power to him. But, don't expect me to be a part of it. I thank God daily that my mother doesn't understand their life style. She would be appalled and heart broken. Enough about that. Other than that, I'm still fat and happy. I'm planning on having the lapband surgery next year. Hopefully that will cure me of my desire for food! Ugh!

I suppose I should shut up for now because I could write a book. I will TRY...I will TRY TRY TRY to stay current (as long as Heather does hehehe) on this blog. Until then...love to all and many blessings!

Still Going....

It's been approximately two weeks since I quit smoking. In those 14 days, I've probably smoked a pack of cigarettes; although in the past five days, I haven't smoked any. Yeah well, being in the hospital kinda hindered that. But, hopefully that has taken me over that major hump of the infamous "need." I can and will do this. Tra-la-la-la-la-...La-la-la-la.

I Quit!

It's been over 48 hours since I've had a cigarette. I started Chantix and I'm positive it's going to work. No side effects either. I was on the following website:

http://www.cancer.org/docroot/PED/content/PED_10_13X_Guide_for_Quitting_Smoking.asp

and found out what is happening to my body so far. See below:

• 20 minutes after quitting: Your heart rate and blood pressure drops.(Effect of Smoking on Arterial Stiffness and Pulse Pressure Amplification, Mahmud, A, Feely, J. 2003. Hypertension:41:183.)


• 12 hours after quitting: The carbon monoxide level in your blood drops to normal.(US Surgeon General's Report, 1988, p. 202)

I have to wait two weeks to three months before my circulation and lung function improve. But, I can do this.

As Eleanor Roosevelt said: You must do the things you think you cannot do.

So -- my official quit date is February 14, 2008 @ 1:30 p.m.

Don't You Feel This Way Sometimes?

Yes. It's been a bit. But, in all fairness, I've been very busy. Work has been hellish as usual. Some days I love it and some days I want to institutionalize myself. Is there ever a fair trade? The home life is settling down a bit. The husband and the son are at an even stand off right now. So, no sparks flying as of late. The son's grades are still good. He hasn't found a job yet, but that will come with time. Once he finds the job, he can drive. It's all up to him. He and I walked a mile tonight. It was fun. We shall do another tomorrow. Bonding is nice. My allergies are off the CHAIN! I see the good doc again tomorrow. One more time to try and get this right. And, of course, I had to run out of meds as of tonight. I re-filled them but forgot to pick them up. Oh well. What's another day of a snotty, congested nose? Pfft. Lots going on at work. Management is at odds right now. (sigh) I'm simply keeping my nose down. I applied for a management job today. I don't know why I did it. Well, yeah, I do know why I did it. 9,000 more. So, maybe there will be life altering changes in my very near future. Who knows?

Spiritual Path

I'm on that path again - still looking for a higher power - still confused about what path to take. God, I've been on so many. Just when I think the Christian path is the one to take, I meet one that changes my mind or something happens that makes me wonder if there really is a God. Maybe we are just meant to die and there is nothing afterwards. Maybe there is a God and a Saviour as the Bible claims. What is it going to take to make me realize what path to take? For the most part, all my friends are Christian. Some to more extreme than others, but I love them all. I have a few Pagan friends, but I find them getting darker and darker. And one of them I could swear is evil from the inside out. Now that he is out of my life I haven't been fearful of opening up about religion. He really suffocated me. Where is the balance? Do I have to be the extreme Christian or can I be a balanced individual who simply loves God? I don't feel right being a Bible spouting, church activist. To be honest it drains me. But, I don't mind reading the Bible and going to church once a week. Do I understand the Bible? Sometimes. Other times? I would swear half of the people involved in the stories smoke some better stuff than I do. And see right there...is it a sin to think that way...people in the Bible smoking weed? My mind thinks these things. I can't stop it. It just happens. And now I've put it in my journal. Am I going to hell thinking things like that? Do I even believe in Hell? If I believe in the Bible, I have to believe in hell. How can God create something so awful? Why? Why can't people just be naturally good? Why do we have to struggle? Why can't life be perfect? Damn, maybe I should go smoke some more. Hmmmm? Actually, I should go read the Bible. It's got dust on it. I wish I could be as strong as people like Jeri, Millie and Heather. They are strong in their faith and nothing stops them. Not cancer, not financial worries, not their children being sick....NOTHING. It makes me think that Christianity is the way to go. But, each time I try, my life gets harder. What in the world is hindering me????

Roughly 17 More Hours To Go....

Well, it's been a glorious four-day weekend. But, isn't it funny how on the day before you're supposed to return to work, you get the blues? Not to mention is five more months until another state holiday. Thank God for plenty of vacation time but still. I've practically had a month off and I'm still vying for more vacation. Oh well. I could have a boring job, I suppose.

In the meantime, Cole's birthday is right around the corner and so is Valentine's day. I'm not in much a romantic mood at the moment but I suppose I better get that way before the big day hits. Who knows...maybe we might just have sex. Hmmmm....I won't hold my breath. Something has to give though. I'm hosting a pleasures party on the 29th. Maybe that will spark some interest.

Oh well...I suppose I should start preparing for my work week. Pfft.

Sigh...

Oh my. I can relate. Pfft.

Dreary Weather

Well, there's nothing going on here today except some dreary weather. You know? Makes you want to lie down for a long winter's nap. I'm fighting sleep right now. But, I have way too much to do. Well, clean, cook, wifely duties. Ugh. The husband is out working on expanding our sprinkler system since we've done so much landscaping. Not my cup of tea. I've been scrapbooking but I'm getting tired of that. So, I cleaned my bedroom and now I want to sleep LOL Wow. What a day.

The husband stayed up all night last night tending to a beef brisket in our smoker. He enjoys this type of thing. I, on the other hand, enjoy sleeping in my Tempurpedic bed. So, we parted ways after movies, pizza and beer.

Today has been spent doing necessities outside and around the house. Yes, our house owns us. But, it pays us back daily by being beautiful, sacred and whole. Ours is the house my husband's grandmother and great aunt and uncle lived in. They all died here. It's an interesting home. Full of memories, spirits and energy.

Tonight the beef brisket should be finished. Around 7:00. Cheryl is coming over. So are Mario and Joseph. Maybe we shall get inebriated on some Tequila Rose or quite possibly some Chardonnay. Could be an unforgetful evening. However, I went to a store in town where I found peach flavored blunt rolling papers. I know what I'm going to participate in.

Where Has The Week Gone?

Wow...it's been a while. Sorry. It's been a very busy, scattered week. My patients have been sicker than usual. On top of that, there have been social issues which have prevented me from helping a few of them with their medications. Now I have to ask the state for extra help. Cross your fingers. I need another vacation and I just had a three week hiatus. What's up with that?

The kids grades are still good. This is a positive FANTASTIC sign! They could be a bit better (like last semester Honor Roll)...but I'm only mildly pushing. He's hanging in there. We only have five more months before he graduates. I want to see a blowout year. The party I'm planning will show my pride and love. I'm so glad he's home.

Well, pizzas on the way so I must split. The husband and I are sitting down to a naughty LMC movie and pizza and beer. Yum. BBL.

Resolution vs. Resolutions

I've been thinking about my New Years' resolutions. Yes, resolution(S) - plural. Statistics say in order to achieve your resolution, you should start with a small goal. My goals are never small. They're always unobtainable LOL So, this year, I'm going to start small. Only two resolutions.

1. I pledge to keep the laundry current for the next 30 days.

2. I pledge to eat right and exercise for the next 30 days.

No one ever said that the new years' resolutions had to last ALL year, right?

Let's see what happens after 30 days...we shall meet again.

Best Friends

My best friend caught her boyfriend hanging out in a bar with his wife, from whom he's supposedly separated for ten months. God, it's a long story. But, it's on my mind and I wish it would go away. I have to keep remembering that it's not my bag of shit to carry around. I have to be honest though and maybe others should think less of me...but, I'd been hoping she would find him with his wife or another woman. Not that I want to see my best friend end up hurt. Never. But, I absolutely cannot tolerate this man. He's the furthest thing from a gentleman and lacks character and morals. Oh he may be a division director in a government setting and have the vocabulary of a college English professor, but that doesn't mean he's a good person. He uses her at every opportunity he gets and gives her false hope for their relationship. She's such a beautiful person. Granted - she allows him to do this to her and I'm not sure that I could ever get her to understand how she's being used; but, I still wish she could find a decent person to be in her life, to take care of her and show her that love is out there and can be alive. I guess I'm spoiled. My husband is a gentleman. He's from the old school of relationships. Women are to be put on a pedestal and respected, spoiled and most of all loved to pieces! LOL So, listen up ladies. Chivalry is not dead. You don't deserve what these men are giving to you. There are men out there who know how to treat a woman. You just have to open your eyes to the bullshit and then push it away. Don't allow it in your life. You don't deserve it. If only Cheryl would see the truth. I haven't talked to her today to see what the outcome was of their chat after she caught him. But, unfortunately, I know all too well the end result. I'm sure he ended up in her bed, apologizing his ass off, and giving her a false sense of hope until the next time he gets caught again. Will she wake up then?

The New Motto for 2008! A Poem About Girlfriends...

Someone will always be prettier. Someone will always be smarter. Some of their houses will be bigger. Some will drive a better car. Their children will do better in school. And their husband will fix more things around the house. So let it go, and love you and your circumstances. Think about it! The prettiest woman in the world can have hell in her heart. And the most highly favored woman on your job may be unable to have children. And the richest woman you know, she's got the car, the house, the clothes~~might be lonely.

And the word says, "If I have not Love, I am nothing." So, again, love you. Love who you are.

Look in the mirror in the morning and smile and say,

"I am too Blessed to be Stressed and too Anointed to be Disappointed!" "

Winners make things happen~~ Losers let things happen."

Celebrations...

I live in the middle of acres upon acres of groves. Grapefruit, oranges, tangerines. And of course, situated in the groves will be migrant labor camps. Although our home is almost 90 years old and we were here first , there's a MLC not far from here. Close actually. I can't say that I mind. They're normally quiet, polite people and granted they are only here for the season. Tonight two of them have wed. In their front yard. In front of their mobile home. With red and white balloons EVERYWHERE. Weren't the balloons supposed to be orange, green and yellow? Oh, that's their heritage. Not the colors of love? And, yes, we have the classic Hispanic tunes. The same beat over and over again. The wooden floors of my OLD home reverbate with that same beat - again and again and again. And with this, I have to smile. Simply because it's a wedding. And they've opted to celebrate. In their own way. In front of their mobile home. But, dammit, they're celebrating. My husband asked me if we could crash the party. I told him I was afraid for his life if he chose to do so. I'm quite sure the music would stop reverbating if we were to crash their party. I do love a homemade tortilla though. Do you suppose they roasted a goat? Hmmmm...

2008 Is The Year to Smile

I dare you to laugh right now. Don't worry about those sitting around you. Just BUST out laughing.

Then, after you're done laughing, I dare you to tell me that you don't feel better.

All it takes is a smile or a laugh to brighten ones day.

Yesterday, I had a doctor's appointment. While in the waiting room, a very attractive UPS man made a delivery. When he opened the door, he looked directly at me and SMILED. This nice beaming smile. Of course it helped that he was very attractive, LOL, but dammit he smiled. And, as he left, he mentioned that I looked like I needed a smile. :) That simple smile brightened my day. So, I've decided 2008 is going to be the year to smile. SMILE. Smile.